Yesterday I ate at The Madison in Hoboken. It was so yummy! I ordered a steak quesadilla and garlic parmesan wings. It was really good. I'm trying to go out more. Before being medicated, I was scared to even take the trash out. So going out to eat is a big step for me. I am watching two doggies. One's named Bart and the other dog's name is Joy. Soon I'll be taking a break from dog sitting because it makes me tired after work, but I don't know when. I talked about my brother today.. I always talk about him because he stays on my mind so much. Some days I think my dad took his life and some days I think he decided to transition himself. Today, after talking about mental health, I believe he may have transitioned himself. He left a note behind :( I was encouraged to talk about him from reading another blog named Chant For Happiness by Jamie Lee Silver. She talks about how her 22-year old son decided to transition after struggling with schizophrenia. I support her so much and I'm grateful for her. I hope to finish her blog soon. Her blog dates back to 2009 and she still posts to this day! I haven't written poetry in awhile. I wrote most of my poetry while I was experiencing psychosis. Reading it back while I'm healing is so interesting. It's like someone else wrote it. It used to scare me, but now I can read it and understand where I'm coming from. When I start feeling better, I hope to start back writing soon. Lately, I haven't had the motivation to cook. Sometimes I just don't eat, which isn't good at all. I'm just not in the mood to do it. I usually waste a lot of groceries because they go bad. I got my toe nails done in Bayonne for $25. I usually get them done in Hoboken for $75 so that was different. You do get what you pay for because they didn't do as good of a job as in Hoboken. But they made the bottom of my feet so so soft. I signed with a new agency and I'm so nervous about it. Will I get work? I went to a psychic and she said I'll be working in a few weeks. Along with chanting everyday, I believe it but I'm still really scared. Any change in my life is so scary for me because I don't like it. I just want everything to be the same, boring thing all the time but I don't think that's necessarily a good thing. Change is good. Change is needed. I'm going to work on welcoming change.
Yesterday I ate at The Madison in Hoboken. It was so yummy! I ordered a steak quesadilla and garlic parmesan wings. It was really good. I'm trying to go out more. Before being medicated, I was scared to even take the trash out. So going out to eat is a big step for me. I am watching two doggies. One's named Bart and the other dog's name is Joy. Soon I'll be taking a break from dog sitting because it makes me tired after work, but I don't know when. I talked about my brother today.. I always talk about him because he stays on my mind so much. Some days I think my dad took his life and some days I think he decided to transition himself. Today, after talking about mental health, I believe he may have transitioned himself. He left a note behind :( I was encouraged to talk about him from reading another blog named Chant For Happiness by Jamie Lee Silver. She talks about how her 22-year old son decided to transition after struggling with schizophrenia. I support her so much and I'm grateful for her. I hope to finish her blog soon. Her blog dates back to 2009 and she still posts to this day! I haven't written poetry in awhile. I wrote most of my poetry while I was experiencing psychosis. Reading it back while I'm healing is so interesting. It's like someone else wrote it. It used to scare me, but now I can read it and understand where I'm coming from. When I start feeling better, I hope to start back writing soon. Lately, I haven't had the motivation to cook. Sometimes I just don't eat, which isn't good at all. I'm just not in the mood to do it. I usually waste a lot of groceries because they go bad. I got my toe nails done in Bayonne for $25. I usually get them done in Hoboken for $75 so that was different. You do get what you pay for because they didn't do as good of a job as in Hoboken. But they made the bottom of my feet so so soft. I signed with a new agency and I'm so nervous about it. Will I get work? I went to a psychic and she said I'll be working in a few weeks. Along with chanting everyday, I believe it but I'm still really scared. Any change in my life is so scary for me because I don't like it. I just want everything to be the same, boring thing all the time but I don't think that's necessarily a good thing. Change is good. Change is needed. I'm going to work on welcoming change.
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