Sadié Sidney

'Angel' is my favorite covered song. There's also a male artist named 'Ezra' who covers it as well and I love his version too. I'm listening to it right now actually. It's 6:32 AM and I'm up thinking... Life can be so delightful sometimes. So alluring. I have lost two brothers and a step brother. My twin brother Sidney was murdered, my brother Nauris had an undiagnosed heart condition and never woke up a couple of years ago, and one of my step brothers jumped off a bridge. Instead of being sad this morning, I am thinking of the word 'Love'. Love is soo strong. So powerful. So healing. I still meekly seek my kingdom marriage. It's something I don't really like to talk about too much as I'm submissively pursuing a better relationship with God. It's a lowly goal on my vision board. I want to be cherished. I would like to know what that's like from a romantic standpoint, I am quite curious and fond of the notion. I know that I am...

Forgiving my dad has been a rollercoster ride of emotions. At the end of every day, I love my dad. I will never stop loving my dad, I'm sorry to admit. I had my first rape kit when I was 5 years old due to a court case of molestation opened against my father. I was molested and sexually abused from ages 5-15. Unfortunately, the rape kit came back with complications and my testimony against my father wasn't strong enough to convict my dad of child molestation. I was sent back to live with my dad until I was 15 years old. I have permanent clitoral damage, nerve damage on my vaginal canal, and a hypersensitive private area due to all of the years of molestation. I am unable to bear a child due to the severity of the sexual abuse. I am a tormented soul, but I could never be mad at anyone despite the things they do and say to me. My dad hurt me. My dad disappointed me. I wanted to be a daddy's girl for life. I wanted to be enough for my dad. That was my dream. I wanted my dad t...

I felt so unloved in my marriage and I couldn't believe how my ex husband was treating me at the time. It has taken time to forgive him, his mother, and his family as I felt they all mistreated me to a certain aspect as the "American girl" in a Nigerian marriage. Reading this book by Faith Jenkins was so helpful and helped alot to dive deeper into my forgiveness. I wanted to make it clear to my ex husband that we are NOT friends. He was not a good friend to me during our marriage. I sheepishly have to admit that I absolutely was not ready to get married to my ex husband. There should've been an intervention in place before the marriage took place, but it's ok. Life happens. I was not prepared to find out less than two months into the marriage that my husband was engaging in sexual conversations with a minor. I was devastated. I am not bitter at my marriage, I am thankful for the experience. I am thankful for the learning experience. I am a grown woman now. I am n...