Sadié Sidney

My hair has gotten THICKER but it looks a MESS so I don't really feel comfortable showing it. But I changed my hair routine to an actual routine and my hair has gotten sooo thick. I plaited my hair into 6 sections (1 part down the middle, then divide the halfs into 3). Everyday I moisturize my parts with the Palmer's. On Mondays and Thursdays, I grease my scalp with Sulfur 8 and then I put the chebe mix I made (attached in this blog) on the plaits and twist them back up. My hair has gotten really really thick. I STILL need a cut, I just haven't seen anyone who can do it for me. I take the plaits out every 1st of the month and get a wash and do the process all over again. I think I want to get my hair straightened for my birthday, but I'm not sure. I have 3 wigs stored away in my apartment that I have never used. I have a platinum blonde wig, a yellow wig, and an ombre wig (colors orange and black). So yes. I'm still on my journey to waist length hair. I'm hoping...

I have somewhere to be myself, a place where I belong and that's writing in this blog. This blog has grown from 0 reads a month to over 1500+ reads a month, which to me, is a big achievement. I am grateful for every read as this blog continues to grow. I try my best to post at least once a day, but sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me and I'm left sulking in bed. I think the intrusive thoughts that have caused me so much anxiety and pain is when my mom said she didn't want me anymore and that I wasn't doing anything with my life and then she blocked me recently. It is one thing to be disabled. It is another thing to have a family that doesn't love you. For me, I have denied my family not loving me since I was born. I have always took up for them, made excuses, and took the years of neglect, humiliation, and disrespect in silence. It was not until, embarrassing to admit, I wrote my memoir that my husband told me that the ways they have hurt me are abnormal for a ...

I've been wanting to go back to posting 3 times a day on my blog, but I haven't been knowing what to say. We are in the last month of school before finals in December. I have alot of papers to write. One paper is about Fannie Lou Hamer, one about Angela Davis, and one about my friend Senator John Lewis. I'm not overwhelmed but most days I have anxiety about writing my papers. I don't know where this anxiety comes from, but it comes very strong and takes me over for the full day. It's gotten a bit better, but I still struggle alot with my PTSD and anxiety. I'm really excited that I'm so close to the finish line of getting my Bachelors in Africana studies. I'm almost there. It will be my biggest achievement to date.

It's my second time using this crockpot and I'm really excited. I haven't used it in some time, to be honest. Today is schoolwork day. I have alot of schoolwork to do in terms of my end-of-term papers, but I'm hopeful in getting most of the work I planned to do done today. I'm also baking cinnamon raisin bagels for breakfast. I have been having extreme anxiety these past few days and I have no idea why. I can't sit still. I can't think straight. I want to watch interviews, movies, and specials on OWN but can't seem to sit down long enough to do so. I've been amping up my prayer life and trimming the music, books, and things I consume so that it's more positive to try to get to the bottom of my anxiety. I'm even anxious to do my school work which doesn't happen often. Now that I'm writing this, I'm thinking of going to my school to sit still and get some work done in these coming weeks. I think staying at home in between births and...