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Loss of Words

I've been at such a loss of words to what to say in this blog. So far, school is almost done for the semester. This semester was not as stressful as the others as I near graduation, which I'm grateful for. I have so much to be thankful and grateful for. I still haven't even started the books that I got from the library. Some books that I've gotten from the library have sat untouched for months. My anxiety has been devastating these past few days which gaves way to not being able to sit still, read, and I struggle deeply with my school work. I thank God everyday for his mercy and patience with me as I'm in a transition stage. I have been praying and reading my scripture everyday steady. I pray for my enemies and all those who have hurt me as my life is transitioning. The first book that I want to start is the book on forgiveness by Iyanla Vanzant. I do feel myself growing during this stage in my life. I have alot of anxiety about my second book. I try not to think to...
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I highlighted this passage when I was around Elementary school age. I have had this youth bible since I was in Elementary school and it's interesting to see all the verses that stood out to me as a young child. I was so in love with this bible that I would even bring it to school to help me throughout my day. I'm grateful I have this bible. I believe I've had it for over 15 years now. Earlier this year, I said I was going to read the bible from flap to flap. I started in Genesis and I've read from Genesis all the way to 1 Corinthians. I'm enjoying diving into the bible and learning so much.
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Hair Routine

My hair has gotten THICKER but it looks a MESS so I don't really feel comfortable showing it. But I changed my hair routine to an actual routine and my hair has gotten sooo thick. I plaited my hair into 6 sections (1 part down the middle, then divide the halfs into 3). Everyday I moisturize my parts with the Palmer's. On Mondays and Thursdays, I grease my scalp with Sulfur 8 and then I put the chebe mix I made (attached in this blog) on the plaits and twist them back up. My hair has gotten really really thick. I STILL need a cut, I just haven't seen anyone who can do it for me. I take the plaits out every 1st of the month and get a wash and do the process all over again. I think I want to get my hair straightened for my birthday, but I'm not sure. I have 3 wigs stored away in my apartment that I have never used. I have a platinum blonde wig, a yellow wig, and an ombre wig (colors orange and black). So yes. I'm still on my journey to waist length hair. I'm hoping...
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This Blog Has Saved My Life

I have somewhere to be myself, a place where I belong and that's writing in this blog. This blog has grown from 0 reads a month to over 1500+ reads a month, which to me, is a big achievement. I am grateful for every read as this blog continues to grow. I try my best to post at least once a day, but sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me and I'm left sulking in bed. I think the intrusive thoughts that have caused me so much anxiety and pain is when my mom said she didn't want me anymore and that I wasn't doing anything with my life and then she blocked me recently. It is one thing to be disabled. It is another thing to have a family that doesn't love you. For me, I have denied my family not loving me since I was born. I have always took up for them, made excuses, and took the years of neglect, humiliation, and disrespect in silence. It was not until, embarrassing to admit, I wrote my memoir that my husband told me that the ways they have hurt me are abnormal for a ...
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Writing Papers

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I've been wanting to go back to posting 3 times a day on my blog, but I haven't been knowing what to say. We are in the last month of school before finals in December. I have alot of papers to write. One paper is about Fannie Lou Hamer, one about Angela Davis, and one about my friend Senator John Lewis. I'm not overwhelmed but most days I have anxiety about writing my papers. I don't know where this anxiety comes from, but it comes very strong and takes me over for the full day. It's gotten a bit better, but I still struggle alot with my PTSD and anxiety. I'm really excited that I'm so close to the finish line of getting my Bachelors in Africana studies. I'm almost there. It will be my biggest achievement to date.
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my absolute sunshine

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Always my favorite part of the day

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