Posts

Writing

I'm reading Rita Dove's book 'Playlist for the Apocalypse' and I do pray that I have the strength to write another book. I hate living with all these mental illnesses. I hate schizophrenia so much. I hate how I struggle. I hate the embarrassment. I hate the anxiety. I hate the misunderstanding that I feel from people. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much. Some days I hate everything about my life and remaining grateful gets so hard. This morning was one of those days. Why do I struggle? Why do my people struggle? Why does my name mean nothing to anyone? Why is my importance in this world diminishing? I've been reading so many Christian novels and they are so beautiful. I am trying my absolute best here on this Earth. I'm trying to be strong, even though most times I feel like the weakest link. I''m also scared to write another book because I don't want to offend anyone with how I truly feel about them and the way they treat/treated me....
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before I completed my hair

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always playing with my hair

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slow growth but growth

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Frustrated With my Poetry

Don’t hurt me, I’m just here to help Don’t hurt me, I am just here to help In a world filled with hate, I am here to love I am your protector, I am your dove I am your heart, I am your little love I am your little sister, I am your baby cub I am soft like water, I am just a tulip bulb I am your daughter, but I can be strong like your first born son I can be loyal, despite what they say, I am not dumb I can be smart, I can be bright as the sun I can be your everything or I can be none I can write a novel, I can tell you war stories of where I am from I can be silent as a warrior, I can be loud as a drum I am here to help you, I am here to show you the power of the littlest one I am your strongest soldier, I am your wonderful outcome I am your sweetie, I am the goodness you will always succumb I am you, I am the mum you never weaned from I am your teacher that passed on but her words have more power as more days are to come I belong to you, I am your income I am your...
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I Was Honestly Thinking of Deleting my Blog/They Shackled Me in the Psych Ward

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I took some time off from my blog and even deleted it due to the paranoia I felt after I was released from the psych ward. This time I was set up by a "friend". I was having a bad day closer to my birthday and she randomly called the police on me. I had a stand off with the police and they snatched me from my home and took me to the hospital where they strapped me down from ankles to wrists. They shackled my wrists so tight that I almost died from lack of circulation and they had to run an emergency IV on me for x amount of hours. The whole time they lied to me. They told me my psychiatrist was coming and they didn't even notify my psychiatrist that I was there. They called my abusive family when I didn't request for them to nor did I provide them with my family's number, I still don't know how they got my family's number to this day. I was shackled for hours while I screamed and fought. I still don't understand why they shackled me when I did not com...
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my hair 🥹

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