Posts

Grandma Sadie

My grandma was my rock, my shield, and my foundation. One thing that I know about my grandma is that when you call, she answers. When you need her, she comes. I am so grateful for her presence in my life and I miss her dearly as I march through this life. Sidney is definitely my grandmother's grandchild as they held the same attributes and character. When you called Sidney, he answered. When you needed him, he came. To this day, I do not have anybody in this life that is as reliable and has a steady character the way those two did. They were strong as a rock.. My rock. They died only a few months between each other with my grandma dying December 2018 and Sidney passing February 2019. He was a baby and so was I. I was young when I got closer to my grandma, before she got sick with dementia in my teenage years. In saying this, she could only share with me age-appropriate stories and history as not to scare me as a child. But she shared the story of my great grandma that has always mo...

sweetums

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So much love 🫂❤️

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I'm so honored that all these places are reading my blog. It truly is an honor and a priviledge. I can never stop talking about how I was the only one reading my blog for the first few years with very little support. I am so grateful and blessed that anybody would be interested in anything I have to say. This is my personal space and I have always felt like in my life I have remained unheard but forcibly touched. I have remained ignored but mishandled. I have remained mocked but copied. So I'm so happy today and I pray it continues to grow.

Rita Dove 🌷

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pretty mama

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on my way to a doula client

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Writing

I'm reading Rita Dove's book 'Playlist for the Apocalypse' and I do pray that I have the strength to write another book. I hate living with all these mental illnesses. I hate schizophrenia so much. I hate how I struggle. I hate the embarrassment. I hate the anxiety. I hate the misunderstanding that I feel from people. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much. Some days I hate everything about my life and remaining grateful gets so hard. This morning was one of those days. Why do I struggle? Why do my people struggle? Why does my name mean nothing to anyone? Why is my importance in this world diminishing? I've been reading so many Christian novels and they are so beautiful. I am trying my absolute best here on this Earth. I'm trying to be strong, even though most times I feel like the weakest link. I''m also scared to write another book because I don't want to offend anyone with how I truly feel about them and the way they treat/treated me....