I went to see 'Where The Crawdads Sing'

I went to see 'Where the Crawdads Sing'! It was such a good movie, I cried a few times. That book is one of the greatest books I ever read. I had an audition today for a commercial and I have a photo shoot for Evelyn Freja that my agency booked for me. I sent them in new images from the Bronson photo shoot. Every time I have an off day, I get so anxious and sad and today was one of those days. I always feel like I have to keep working and moving. I do not like sitting around at all. It's so uncomfortable to me. No matter how much I've accomplished.. If I didn't accomplish anything today, then I get so down on myself. I was thinking about increasing my depression medication so I can enjoy my off days. My manager told me that when I was on my other depression medication, it seemed as if I was in a daze. So I'm happy I'm off that medication and I'm on bupropion. It seems like a better option for me. I haven't had the energy to cook at all. I remember when I used to cook three times a day and now I can't even make a sandwich. I opened the bible that my neighbor gifted me and it led me to Ezekiel 34:7-35:13. Ezekiel 34:26 And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing. I blindly opened the bible where the bookmark was left and it led me to that passage. The therapy I go to is for substance abuse. I didn't think weed was a substance, but according to the program, it is. In ways, I can see how I was addicted to it. I HAD to do it everyday, it made things more enjoyable for me. But then things turned scary and I felt like I needed it and it started altering my mind and behavior. That was really scary for me.....