Feeling Better Today, Thank God

 I woke up early today!! Thank God I feel so much better and I’m not glued to my bed. Yesterday and the day before was rough……. But I wrote a 1,000 page essay and I’m on my way to school to finish 8 assignments. Hopefully it doesn’t take me too long because I want to lay at home and get some more rest. Later this week, I’m going to go to the salon to get my braids taken out. I’m going to miss these braids <3 They’re so so pretty. I like the braided bang, it’s so beautiful and I will be getting it again but a different style. On Wednesday, one of my favorite dogs is coming. His name is Boi, he’s so little and cute. It’ll be nice to have a companion to sleep with while I’m trying to get better. I also realized that I don’t need to be working, I can afford not to work and I get so so triggered at work from being around other people. I just need to work hard at my businesses and I will be ok. I’ve gone a year or two without working before. It was tough, but I didn’t go to the hospital at all during that time. And I also traveled too!!! I’m thinking about getting back on bupropion for my depression. I thought I’d be ok without it but I’m struggling, to be honest. Bupropion helped me get out of bed! But it didn’t help me cook and clean. Right now, I’m cooking about everyday. When I was healthy, I was cooking 3-4 times a day. And that’s my goal to get back to. Cooking 3-4 vegan meals a day and cleaning and paying all my bills on time. Right now, I’m paying all my bills on time (Thank God) but I’m only cooking once a day and then drinking juices and teas. I want to make sure I’m getting all my nutrients and vitamins, so I’m going to push myself to cook, cook, cook. I’m back to cleaning everyday, which is good. My new cooking and cleaning schedule came from being unmediated though, and I’m not sure if bupropion is going to help or hinder me. I have to get a new team of doctors so we can have these conversations which is coming soon. 

And I also wanted to point out that chanting works!!! Oh my goodness, just like last time that I chanted, my life was changed drastically in 5 months. I didn’t believe, but now I believe. I’m going to start chanting again because now I KNOW it works it’s a powerful thing. 

I also weigh 166 today. Which is crazy because omg I was 250 pounds. That was so much weight on me and I had so many health issues. As of today, I don’t have any health issues. I think I want to stop at 130. I was about 130 when I was healthy. I was 250 in mid-December and as of April 1st, I’m 166. So I lost about 100 pounds in about 3 months. It’s such a drastic change on my body, but my PCP is keeping a close eye on my heart and liver and making sure that I’m comfortable, safe, and healthy. I love my doctor, I’m not going to lie. He has done so much for me in these short months of knowing him and I’ll never let go of him clearing me for disability. I will remain grateful for that….