I fell Asleep!

Surprisingly, I fell asleep last night! I didn't think I would fall asleep, but I did. I took some melatonin, which I don't like because I don't want to become dependent on it. Although, I went through the same thing last year when I left the psych ward. I could not sleep at all. I think it took 2-3 months for my body to get comfortable at night. So, just for a little bit, I'll be taking melatonin to get some rest. My psychiatrist told me to switch my morning meds to my night meds, so I can sleep better. I ate so much food yesterday, which is not like me. I'm usually never hungry. I'm so happy that I'm eating and sleeping! That means I'm getting better. Today, at 3 pm, I have a dog coming. I'm so excited to have a pet for right now. I miss the dogs when they're not here. For Mother's day, I'm going to the Cheesecake factory with my neighbor. She's so sweet for inviting me. I don't know how she knew I didn't have plans for mother's day, but she's thoughtful. My biological mother told me that she needed a break from me after I told her I was struggling bad with my suicide ideation, so I thought it would be best to just officially go our seperate ways. I can't keep allowing someone to consistently hurt me. That's not healthy. I want a family one day (maybe through adoption or being a foster mommy) and I don't EVER want to make my kids feel the way I felt growing up and even now how my parents make us feel. I don't want my kids to know what hunger and homelessness is, the way that we know what it is. I don't want my kids to see mommy sick. Which is why I'm doing the best I can to get all these group and individual sessions, meds, and peaceful environments so I can get better for my own family. I do not like the way that we were brought up, it caused too much emotional turmoil and mental illness.