What It's Like Being Special Needs and Having My First Rape Kit At 5

Ugh being special needs is a daily challenge. Especially when you "don't look special needs" (whatever the fuck that means when people say that). I know I "don't look" or "act" schizoaffective, but I certainly am and it's hard for me. I know I "don't look" or "act" special needs, but I certainly am. Having my first rape kit at 5 definitely contributed to my non-verbalism because I felt like everytime I told the truth, the police always came and questioned me. I was a little baby getting a rape kit. I didn't deserve that and my heart breaks for that super duper smart but special needs little girl who told her school her daddy was touching on her private area. My heart is so broken, I promise it is. But I try to stay strong for that little girl and I try to keep pushing on and not let anything get in between me and my dreams. But it's so hard. Yes, I got accepted into Princeton but I still couldn't call the police when my ex tried to boil my face in water. I just couldn't do it. I was confused. I was desperate for my ex to be the man I always dreamed of and instead I got scammed and left by him. Those are things that I can't help that happened to me. I wish people understood that I can't help when people hurt me and I do the BEST I can to protect myself. I do the best I can to stay alive, even when 'those' thoughts come. Like previously stated, I do the best that I can everyday and it's hard for me.