Focusing On Myself

This will be the hardest thing I ever do but I decided to focus on myself. All my life I have catered to the needs of my mother and father. As they were both very sick. Now that I've moved out, the caretaker in me won't leave my heart/soul. I'm always checking on everyone. I'm always paying for everything. I'm always calling/texting. It has to stop, it's not healthy. Everyone has direct access to me and it's not good for my mental health. I'm learning to not respond. I'm learning to be content with me :) Which is sooo hard. My whole life I dealt with my parents hitting me, sexually abusing me, telling me I'm a hoe, a bitch, a slut, humiliating me, and calling me stupid. I still flinch thinking about when my dad said I'm the dumbest person he ever met. Now that I'm not in that space anymore, I am so free. Free to love myself. Free to love my life. I am having my first birth soon as a doula so it's time to work on that. Time to love myself more <3 I know I can do it. Time to chant. Time to change my life. Time to work out everyday. Time to read more books, join more clubs, and be more healed. Because of Princeton, I had to leave therapy. But I'm calling therapists today to get back into therapy. Finding a good therapist is so hard :( But every new therapist I get keeps getting better than the last one. This is so scary but today marks a new day in my life.