Have you ever been so broke that you windowshopped at the grocery store?

I moved across the country to get away from it. I tried to cut my hair. I tried to cut it out my body. I tried to wash it off. I tried to scrub it clean. I tried to change my religion. I tried to change my whole personality. And somehow, I still have that scent on me. The scent of being touched. The ones who know, know. It's like once one person touches you, more vultures smell you out. I feel so dirty. Dirty little girl. I tried everything to get rid of that scent but it clings to me like no other. Since I was a little girl, I've always attracted men. Men angry at me. Men who want to fuck me and then choke me out. Men that hate me. I hate being 'that' person where I'm angry all the time, but sometimes I can't help it. I can't be happy all the time. I can't smile all the time. Sometimes I have to scream it out like my first visit to the psych ward. I screamed and I screamed and I screamed until they tranquilized me. The ones who know, know. They know I'm not crazy because they have the scent too. No matter what you do, it follows you everywhere attracting the worst of the worst. Attracting felons. Attracting demons. Attracting pedofiles. I've been thinking alot about dignity. It's such a precious thing, isn't it? Dignity. Once it's gone, it's gone. No coming back from that. It's so interesting how life can be so fragile, yet we take it for granted. We walk around hurting others without a care in the world.