Triggers

So, every year this happens around the anniversary of Sidney's passing. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't like anyone. I only want my brother. Everything triggers me. I really wanted to rest during this time, but I have three open court cases due to me being a victim of domestic violence so I can be upset about that at times. I feel like nobody understands. Nobody gets it. I can feel so alone during this time. People say they care, but I simply just don't believe them. I've always struggled with my mental health, but I have been struggling so much since I lost my brother. He meant the world to me and more. The way it happened and how he still doesn't have justice bothers me to this day and it's been five years. Even though it's been five years, it feels like it was yesterday that he was braindead in the hospital. It's so much all at once but I try to get lost into books, my schoolwork, and birth advocacy to clear my mind of all the emotions. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It just depends.