Scared of my Full Potential

Throughout my life, I have always had somethbg against me... deterring me from my goals. Now I'm at a place where things are shedding.. people are shedding.. I'm growing. Within this season, I cannot wait to shine in my silence. Shine inside out. It's scary because I've always been super unfortunate in life. Especially in my childhood with having my first rape kit at 5 and having to testify against my father at just 5 years old in court. And then ultimately losing and having to live with my father... So many days I wanted it all to end. I wanted to cut it away. I wanted to starve it away. I wanted to hurt myself until it went away. Things are getting better, but it's step by step. I have to keep reminding myself to slow down. But yeah... Everyday I'm trying. Some days I want to disappear and never come back. Change my number and never look back. It's such a tempting feeling. I really want to read Gone Girl now. Me and my sister loved the movie!