Sometimes its Triggering

Starting this new career as a doula is sometimes triggering. Going to the doctor and being seen can sometimes be soo traumatic. I'm not used to things like that because my family didn't believe in going to the doctor. As a kid, my father opted out of us having shots. So, now that I'm in a place where I'll be surrounded by medicine, it feels different. I have to advocate for my clients, but also when should I let things be? When should I speak up and when should I stay silent? I struggle with that in my own life. Yesterday, I had a prenatal with a client and we talked about how traumatic it can be going to the doctor. Me, personally, I usually go to Planned Parenthood for anything related to my womb because they have experience with DV victims and rape survivors and they're always gentle. I had an IUD placed in by body a couple of years ago by Planned Parenthood and I started having weird symptoms so I went to an OBGYN in Exchange Place. For some reason, I remember being in stirrups talking about the hiccups I experienced with my IUD and in my mind... I was thinking why the hell am I in stirrups? But I let it go. Next thing I know is that the doctor pulls out something that looks like a dildo and puts something that looks like a condom on the dildo and STICKS IT UP MY VAGINA. They didn't ask if I was ok with that, they didn't see if I was comfortable with that, they didn't tell me what's going on... They literally just stuck a dildo up my vagina without even recieving my consent. That was so traumatizing. Sitting there talking to my client made me realize how traumatic that was for me and how traumatic that can be for pregnant persons. I am grateful that I'm in a position to advocate and to be a caregiver... I really am <3 . A prospective client told me about double consent, where they have to receive consent twice before touching or operating you. I'm going to look into that.....