Why Am I Up?

Just thinking about so much... So much is heavy on my heart/mind right now. Some days I just want to be completely alone and just focus on myself. Not answering my phone (only for my family) and just working... I don't know how healthy that is. But I feel like people distract me and I'm always hurt by the words of others. I've had people tell me to "toughen up" and not be so sensitive, but it's just my nature. I am sensitive. I do take things personal. I do take things to heart. I am trying my best. In a perfect world, everyone would be kind and sweet, but they're not. That's just not how life is... So, maybe, I'll plan to take a breather from everyone and focus on my healing. I think that's for the best and that's what I need to feel 100% and to give 100%. I'm up right now doing a bit of school work. School officially started on Wednesday and I'm taking general biology, speech, contemporary moral issues, and introduction to sociology. I thought it would be too much for me to take 4 classes, but I'm actually doing pretty ok! Still able to attend my prenatals, postpartums, and births, and also get my school work and invoices in (for right now). I usually don't sleep much these days because I'm on call for 2 births and they could go into labor at any time. On top of that, I'm still volunteering for Postpartum Support International, so I'm busy. But, busy is good. I don't like staying at home much anymore, so I try to always be on the go. I have to return two books to the library, but I'm planning on reading Viola Davis' book and Britney Spears' book. I do have a stipend from school, so maybe I can buy them with my stipend? We'll see. I started back cooking!!!!!! I love to cook but my disabilities have been getting in the way, so I haven't been able to do it much. But I actually fried some tilapia and it was so good!!