Fireproof

Fireproof is one of my favorite movies. It always makes me cry. Bexie cuddled with me the other night. She was the big spoon, I was the little spoon.  I'm super anxious about my agency, I have so many questions. Can they get me booked? How soon can they get me booked? What does my future look like with them? I get so anxious when it comes to new changes, I just wish I could see the future but that's not how life works. The shoot went well today!! She told me that she shot some things for Rolling Stone and was featured in The New York times. I remember when I dreamed this all up and now it's happening.. It's kind of weird and I get deja vu all the time now. I don't want Bexie to leave, she's the perfect dog. Today I start the 300 mg of Bupropion, I will keep updating on here how I feel. I've gotten so much better. The suicidal thoughts aren't so strong where Im calling the suicide hotline every hour. I just need to find the energy to cook something. Cooking can be so much fun and it's way more healthier than eating out. I'm praying that I find my love for cooking again. I've been reading my bible and praying more. I actually have a prayer book that seems to work really well. I love it. I got it from a spiritual shop.