Hypersexuality

One symptom of my disabilities is hypersexuality, when unmedicated. I can attribute it to my disabilities but also to the incest I've experienced and the sexual abuse I've endured as well. It all plays a part. But, lately, I haven't really been experiencing much hypersexuality. It was so bad in the past that this feels like a miracle. It could be the meds, but there was a time that I was hypersexual even on my meds. I know it's getting better because I went out with someone and had to turn down their advances. They were interested in being intimate with me and I was utterly disgusted. I barely even knew this person, why would I do something like that? In a world where because this person was attractive, in the past, I would've acted on it. But, as of today, I literally felt disgusted. Not that I judge other people's habits, but why in the world would I have sex with a stranger?? So many things could go wrong. What if you're a stalker? What if you harm me? Where are your medical records? Like.. I just couldn't fathom why I'd ever do something like that in this stage of my life. I look back and I'm a little disappointed in my hypersexuality, but I know that it was hard for me to control and I was trying to manage as best as I can. But, as of today... as of right now... I am not going for that. And if you want to leave me because I don't want to be with you in that way, be my guest. Good bye. I remember in the past that if someone wanted to leave, I'd feel so much sadness deep inside. I do not feel that way anymore. I could honeslty care less. I love being by myself. I love myself enough that I enjoy my company. I am my own best friend. People used to ask me if I was lonely in the past, but I was the loneliest in my last relationship. I've never felt so much loneliness than being with someone who could care less about how I felt. So, why have sex with some random stranger when I can have an enjoyable spa day or go get a massage? I have better things to do and too much to risk to be doing things like that. So, yeah, that person is blocked. He was horny and creepy, which isn't my timing right now. I've got so many things to do and so much on my plate... in a good way, not a bad way at all. I was reading that men do that to women with low self esteem to see how much they can milk the cow. I don't know about that, but I do know my self esteem is getting better and some things I just won't allow myself to get into anymore. My last relationship was full of so much trauma, if I didn't learn anything, I learned my lesson. No more trauma. No more weirdos. If it's just me while I'm still healing, that's fine. I'd actually prefer that, to be honest. I've been really irritable lately anyways. I've just been blocking people out of my phone and doing my own thing, as I should.