Staying In

 I’m not feeling well today, so I’m going to stay in and get some rest. I’m in so much pain </3 but I’m managing to take care of Daisy. That’s the dog lol. I never never thought in 1,000,000 years that I would be sick with mental health issues. It makes me so sad sometimes because I can’t even help it, I just have to manage. But I’m grateful that I can stay at home and rest in a safe place. Such a divine blessing…. But now I’m wondering… is it safe for me to go to nursing school? Will I be hospitalized during my semester? Will I hurt myself or others? I have always wanted to be a nurse and getting admitted into a good school’s program is such a dream come true. But can I handle it? Will I be ok? Those are important questions to ask. What I’m going to try to do is just rest it out until fall 2024 (my admittance date) and see how I feel. I might just need some rest and some family time. I love my sister and her kids. I love my uncles. I love my cousins. I think I’m ready to have a relationship with them, but I’m going to take it as slow as I can. When my family came up here, I was soooo happy. I miss Sidney so much. My best friend since birth. It’s so hard without him and I can’t pretend like it’s not hard. I can’t pretend like it doesn’t hurt me everyday. But I know he’s in a better place and it brings me a sense of peace. Nobody can ever hurt him again. But what an Angel that was in my life……. <3 what a hero.