Sadié Sidney

this look was sooo pretty. I'm waiting for my wigs to come in so I can start playing with makeup more. I may be working 7 days a week teaching moms breastfeeding so now I have to find time to actually get my hair done and have another spa day. I want to go to the LV Cafe too but I need to make a reservation but I have no time to go and they require a deposit too. So I dont want to waste their time by standing them up nor do I want to waste money so.

I want to wear backless dresses and shirts and thinking of getting a breast lift. I'm conflicted on it because I want to stay as natural as possible. Yesterday when I took my bra off, the weight of my breasts hurt me so bad. I'm a 38i but may be bigger now (was sized some time ago). So we'll see what I do.

obsessed with books

I made a big mistake last year exfoliating my face. I have eczema on my face so not only did I cause breakouts but I also caused my eczema to scab. So I had scabs on my face that wouldn't go away. It is getting a little bit better but it's so embarrassing.

I really want to get into placenta encapsulation soon. I think it is such a beautiful practice and I would love to get into it. They have a class in NYC next month, so I'll see if I can join it. I know the people there will be so so beautiful and kind.

Surprisingly, today was actually a better day. I still struggle so much and lately I have been having so many thoughts of disgust and disdain towards alot of people that I used to surround and associate myself with. I love being by myself. When I am by myself, I do not have to worry about someone sharing their sick opinion about my life and how I should live it. I don't have to hear anyone's opinions on what they think I should be doing, where I should be going, their comparisons to me, none of that. It is just me and I am perfectly fine with that. I will never forget how people treated me when I lost my brother. I was considered a burden. A bother. I was no longer "the strong one" and people didn't have the capacity nor time (nor did they want to make the capacity nor time) to care about what I was going through emotionally. How I didn't want to live anymore. How I wasn't strong enough to fight on my own. People watched me struggle and offered no help. J...

I like to play in makeup soo much, with my inspirational looks by mostly trans and drag. Although, because of my depression, it makes it so hard to do my makeup. Hard to do anything really honestly. I was so happy to do my makeup yesterday and I haven't really done my makeup in such a long time. I have a 1200 word paper I want to finish today, even though I'm sad. I have written 250 words so far, so I know I can write 1000 more.