Feeling Much Better

I went to see some Buddhist sisters tonight and I feel much better. We chanted for about 20 minutes. I just got home from taking a night walk by the water. I've been waking up so late lately, it's embarrasing. I've been getting out of the bed at like 5 pm. I was blaming it on the medicine, but I feel like, in part, it's me too. I don't want to wake up. I don't want to get out of bed. But day by day, I am working on finding things to get me out of the house. Things that make me happy and make me smile. Speaking of art dealing, there is an african art museum that sells pieces. I can't remember the name, but I think they're in Harlem. I cannot wait until I move so I can really start collecting. My apartment is way too small. My apartment can barely even hold all my purses and clothes. I'm constantly having to give away and donate things because I don't have enough closet space. I'm planning to move by the end of this year, but I also am planning a trip to London to visit my modeling agency. I don't know, I'm praying all of my goals for this year pass. I know next year is a thing, but I just want to get some things over and done with right now. At this very moment. I'm anxious. I just get scared because every single day that passes is a day closer to the end of the year. But yeah, one of the local leaders of SGI was telling me to try my best to chant twice a day. Even if you only chant three times, just try. So that is my goal. To just try. I really don't want to be in the bed all day, that's just sad and really depressing. I'm not even sure what's been getting me so down.