Everything is connected

I think one thing that used to trigger my schizophrenic episodes that would lead me to the psych ward was the fact of interconnectedness and 'coincidence'. I have always been mentally ill, that is a fact. Maybe a considerably very known fact, since I've been called 'crazy' my whole life. But one thing that really triggered me was when a coincidence would occur. I started really noticing them after my brother passed away. I remember when I was 19 years old, just moved from Atlanta to Jersey, and was listening to 'Tell Me' by Bobby V. I walked into the Sephora on Washington St in Hoboken and they were playing the soundtrack to 'Tell Me' by Bobby V and I believe me and the Sephora were playing the same part. That scared me so bad and I wanted to scream. I tried to tell someone in the store and they all looked at me like I was that word.... "crazy". Since being on my meds, coincidences don't scare me as much as they used to. But I still definitely notice them. September 26th, 2025 at noon I was on my way to Hoboken (my favorite place lol) and a car pulled up to me and told me that God loves me. If I were not on my meds, I would've broke down in tears. Since I'm being calmed down by my antipsychotics, all I did was smile and say thank you. It's the little things that have always moved me. Maybe because I didn't grow up with much, but a stranger telling me that God loves me made me think about so much and so many things. Why did he say that? What does that imply? Has God been hearing my prayers? The mentally ill me without my meds would've chased the car down the street until I got answers. But the docile me just took it in stride. I wonder about these meds. No, I am not the real me anymore. I am the safe me. I am the gentle me. I am the me before I lost Sidney, or maybe the closest I'll ever be to that. I don't even know if I like being on these meds. Not that it really matters because I have to be on them or my world will start falling apart again. And this time that it falls apart, I don't think I'll be able to pick up the pieces. But yes... coincidences. They still scare me, strangers telling me random things still scare yet move me, and synchronicities make me wonder deeply. What I attached is the author of the book I'm reading 'The Prayer Life's other book on Spotify. I wasn't even searching for that, I was searching for something else and it came up. Interesting, I thought. I used to think things were speaking to me when I was sick. I don't really think exactly THAT as much, but I do think that things speak through others, through signs, through books, through the music playing in a car passing by, on signs, etc Mostly God is speaking or the universe. Whichever makes you comfortable in believing.