Slowly Coming Back/Off My Meds

I forgot to even mention that I am off my meds now. I believe I stopped taking them around October-November. I stopped smoking weed around September I believe. All in 2025. I'm pretty good off my meds, I just can't smoke weed. When I smoke weed, I get really sick. I start hallucinating, getting angry, getting violent, and accusatory. It's so scary. As long as I'm on my meds, I can smoke as much as I want. Now that I am off my meds, I do my best to not smoke, watch what I am eating, watching, and who I am around. I never want to go back to the psych ward ever again in my life. I always come out worse than when I went in. I used to go to church everyday but 2 men from my church were obsessively pursuing me and things were getting weird and uncomfortable for me so I left that specific church. I now go to a church that caters to young people and I go Wednesdays and Sundays. I truly wish I could go to church everyday but I pray and fast frequently which helps alot with my mental health. I have been borrowing this laptop for so many years from my old school and I decided I will return it today and then go to the library to check out books. I love books so much... They make me feel so whole and happy.