I took some time off from my blog and even deleted it due to the paranoia I felt after I was released from the psych ward. This time I was set up by a "friend". I was having a bad day closer to my birthday and she randomly called the police on me. I had a stand off with the police and they snatched me from my home and took me to the hospital where they strapped me down from ankles to wrists. They shackled my wrists so tight that I almost died from lack of circulation and they had to run an emergency IV on me for x amount of hours. The whole time they lied to me. They told me my psychiatrist was coming and they didn't even notify my psychiatrist that I was there. They called my abusive family when I didn't request for them to nor did I provide them with my family's number, I still don't know how they got my family's number to this day. I was shackled for hours while I screamed and fought. I still don't understand why they shackled me when I did not commit a crime nor did I present a threat. In reality, all I needed was a hug. I needed someone to talk to. But in reality, I wanted to be left alone to enjoy my birthday at home while I forever recover from losing my twin brother. I was snatched from my safe space and put on display like I was a zoo animal. They threatened to put full body restraint on me and gag me.. It was not a fun time for me. I spent my 26th birthday in the psych ward because I opened up to someone I thought was a friend and she called the police on me. I never said I wanted to kill myself nor did I display behaviors that I wanted to. I have never had a good relationship with the police so I was beyond angry that someone would set me up like that knowing the color of my skin and knowing my mental health fragility considering the day of my birthday and what comes with that. Today I decided to change my number and not give it to anyone. I do not want to be contacted by anyone. People only contact me when they want something. Nobody ever asks me if I'm ok. Nobody ever asks me if I need something. Nobody checks on me. It is just me in this world by myself, without my brother. It's cold. I will probably never trust anybody ever again the same way I attempted to before. Why someone would do that to someone they call a friend... I will never understand. It's just me and God. He is my true friend. When I pray to him, he doesn't call the police. When I cry to him, he doesn't mock me like everyone else does. He's there for me, my greatest listener. My everything. My savior.
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