Why Did My Ex Try to Boil My Face in Water

I am still heavily recovering from my ex (2015-2018) in Atlanta. I met him when I was around 15-16 and I went through so much because of him. There was sexual, physical, and financial abuse that was tremendously in place in that "relationship". First of all, there is no way that a 15 year old can consent to a relationship with someone of his age (he was 19 or 20 when we met). He slut shamed me every day calling me a bitch or a hoe. He told me that I was the devil in his life and that I was the reason he got kicked out of school. Every bad thing that happened in his life.. my fault. I look back at that age in my life with tears in my eyes seriously. It's so hurtful and demeaning the things that happened to me at that time. I stayed in contact with his family and decided recently to move on from ever speaking to his family again. I feel like they will never understand the pain that I went through and they would probably blame me for the abuse, considering I have no idea why he treated me that way (as in I don't know if they directly influenced his behavior). He was so cruel and mean. It started with name calling then it progressed to more disturbing tactics. I remember I started standing up for myself more when I turned 18. I didn't have any family when I turned 18 to celebrate my birthday. Nobody really told me happy birthday and I didn't get any gifts. I spent my birthday with my ex, giving head in his car. He didn't buy me anything or even acknowledge my birthday which was weird and confusing to me. I eventually asked him after my birthday passed why he didn't buy me anything for my birthday and he said because he never got anything for his birthday? That nobody ever cared about him and he was always forgotten? It was such a strange phenomenon considering I had already met his family and his family spoiled him like a small child and bought and gave him everything at every whim. It was just.. weird? To say the least. My friends and family said he was jealous of me? Jealous of fucking what.. I have no idea. When we met, I was sruggling with homelessness as my mom used to love kicking out me and my siblings and calling the police on us everyday. My life was a living hell everyday living with my parents. There were some weeks that I worked at Mary Macs Tea Room and Mellow Mushroom 90+ hours combined.. double shifts 7 days a week with a 30 minute break. I was just a baby, going through fucking hell and I couldn't even get an acknowledgement on my birthday. I was so disturbed and sad, more than anything. I really feel like my ex was sick and genuinely needed help. He held me back in so many ways as I tried to navigate life while recovering from the harshness and cruelties of my own parents. He stole hundreds, if not thousands of dollars from me. After the birthday incident, I really started to seperate myself from him. I thought he was becoming dangerous as the physical altercations over money increased. In reality, I didn't want his broke ass anymore either. Throughout the three years we were together, he could not engage in gainful employment while I worked 90+ hours a week. We didn't live together but he would be at my house alot, eating all my food.. Not paying one bill nor buying any groceries. I was tired of him and his mistreatment. His abuse was also making me suicidal. One time I wouldn't give him $20 and he choked me until I couldn't breathe. One time while we were sitting on the couch, he forcibly bent me over and held me down and spanked me and wouldn't let me get up. I was so disturbed by the last one. I thought it was weird and.... just weird. I don't even know how to explain how disturbing that one was as I experienced it. I kept saying stop and he wouldn't stop. If I didn't give him head, he would curse me out and say the meanest things to me. When I tried to tell his family, they claimed that he was always respectful and never raised his voice? But I knew the real him. I knew what I truly went through. I really do love his family, but I don't think they truly care for me as I'll never believe that my ex loved me. He used me to the last drop. He would tell me that he's better than me and I'd never be anything quite frequently. As time went by, I was so disturbed by everything he was doing that I decided to officially break up with him. He said I couldn't break up with him because he said I wasn't allowed to. I was like ???? No, we're breaking up. It's done. And he said no. That's when he started stalking me. He'd wait outside my house early in the morning, put notes under my door early in the morning, call my jobs to see if I was there, and then he'd end up breaking in my house and punch holes in my walls... I look back and it was really scary, but at the time, I think I was so over it that I didn't even care. I was just like whatever. He devised a plan to try and get me back and when the plan failed.. That's when one of the worst days of abuse occurred. He said that the wifi at his mom's house wasn't working and he wanted to use my wifi. I honestly didn't see anything wrong with it so I said yes. He came by really late and I told him that I was going to sleep and he should leave when he was done... In the morning when I woke up, he was still there. He overstayed his welcome and I started telling him how I wanted to be a bottle girl and he became visibly angry about me wanting to work in clubs. Then he found out I was with someone after I broke up with him by finding evidence that I had company over....... That's when the fiasco began. He started yelling at the top of his lungs to figure out who this person I slept with was. I didn't think it was necessary or safe to let him know who I'd been sleeping with. Also, it was my house, my body, and my decision to move on. Throughout our whole relationship, I had been treated like a literal slave and puppet. Those days were certainly over and I didn't care to even hear his ill-intentioned opinion. It didn't make sense anyways and I really just wanted him to leave. He said he was there to use my wifi and he was still intruding in my house and my personal space after "using my wifi". After getting aggravated with all the hollering, I decided to boil some vegan hotdogs in the kitchen. The fiasco started in the living room and he followed me into the kitchen yelling about nothing. While trying to boil the hot dogs, he came in my face and asked "Do you know bitches die over shit like this?". I didn't respond. I just looked at the hot dogs. He then asked me again in a matter of fact tone. "Do you know that bitches die over shit like this?".. Still no response from me. He then came up behind me and pressed his body against mine so I couldn't move. He grabbed a fist full of my hair and pushed my head down and tried to boil my face in the water. At this point, I'm doing my best to avoid the water while he's using his strength to pull my head down. This went down for a little while until I used my lower body weight to push against him and move myself out of the situation. He then followed me again like white on rice and tried to push me on top of the dog I was watching twice, but somehow, I was able to catch myself. He then pushed me around into the bedroom where he sat me on the bed and was standing in between my legs while grabbing my hair again and yelling how I'd always be a hoe sucking dick. I would never matter to anyone and I'd never be anything more than a bitch. Throughout this fiasco, I sat in silence and didn't say anything. I was honestly scared that he was going to push me on my back and rape me. That was my biggest fear when he was standing in between my legs. So, I didn't say anything. He finally removed hisself from me and started packing while yelling. He was so disgraceful in my life. He yelled at me for what seemed like hours while throwing things at me and pouring things on me. Very traumatizing and life-changing. I really didn't know what to do because when I thought it was over, he would keep going. I wanted to run and get help but didn't know how that would turn out for me. I wanted to fight back, but ultimately, I knew he would either knock all my teeth out or beat me to death. When he left, he turned around and looked at me and said "And I really loved you". I don't know what kind of "love" an adult and child hold in this type of fiasco, but that was NOT love. I will never look at that situation with love or genuine care. I felt the need to get out of that house ASAP, so I did. Which was an angel speaking in my ears because he came back. When he came back, he stole my dog and left. Thankfully, I wasn't there because I do think he would've killed me. He told his family so many lies and they blamed me for so many things, I see now that they had no real love for me. Just blame, nosiness, lack of respect, and lack of privacy for me while I tried to recover from that situation. I absolutely did the best I could in that situation. He told his family I cheated on him and he didn't even have the proper care for the dog he stole, so of course his family pointed their fingers at me like I was the one in the wrong. I felt like everybody hated me and I still honestly do. It is something that has made me feel so bad inside. There were moments he shared about his mom saying I was a hoe and laughing about the things I shared online on instagram. I remember when his step dad said I couldn't spend the night, which I understood as it was his house, because they heard us having sex. His step dad yelled at us, kicked me out, and I had to sleep in my exes car at 16 years old because my mom wouldn't let me back home. I actually forgot about so much stuff as I don't hold anything against anyone, but it's all coming back and it's so hurting. There's no apology that could fix this, more so like I need to go my own way. My innocence and vulnerability didn't stand a chance at all against my ex and his family and it never will. I feel so sad typing this as I'm just now realizing I've only had my twin brother and my grandma throughout my life that cared. Nobody else cared. Nobody else loved me. I could sleep outside. I could starve. I could be raped. I could be beaten. And people smile at that. People sleep at night peacefully, without a care about me in the world. And I have learned that I have to respect that and move on. I pray for those that have hurt me everyday, for they will never understand the genuity of my pain.