Too Late.

Too late. Too too late. Those are the words that are so heavy in my soul right now. I was too late to save my brother. I was actually working while in a financially abusive relationship for 3 years. There were some weeks that I worked both of my jobs adding up to ~90-100 hours a week. Those days were filled with sadness as I worked so hard for my abusive boyfriend to take all my money. That money was for Sidney, so he could one day live with me and not have to work after he got mentally unwell from the marines. I do not blame my abusive ex-boyfriend for my brother's death, that would be completely unfair. But, when Sidney was with me, he was safe. I kept him alive for almost 19 years as we were together. If my abusive ex wasn't choking me for $20, I could've focused on helping my brother. But, some people are so selfish. They only take, take, take... And then take more. Leaving you depleted. When I finally broke up with my boyfriend, he tried to boil my face in water and all of my money was gone. I was completely depleted. He took everything from me and left me with nothing. As a thief in the night does. He robbed me. Then my grandma passed immediately after. Then my brother passed two months after her. My two rocks gone just like that. Leaving me with an unstable mind, body, and soul. Leaving my foundation shaky. Can't go back now... And why's that? Too late.

When I got the news that my brother passed, I fell to my knees screaming immediately. There was something in my heart that was bothering me the whole day. I was pacing, upset, and feeling unwell the whole day.

Then the call came... Brain dead in the hospital. Too late.

Then we begged my dad "Please don't pull the life support plug, we will be in Detroit in the morning". He pulled the plug as we prepared to meet Sidney on a direct flight from Atlanta to the hospital in Detroit. Too late. Too too late.

When we landed on the next flight to Detroit in the morning, Sidney's body was already at the morgue. Too late.

We were not able to view the body, we were only able to view a photograph of him with a gun shot wound in his head. Too late.

He passed away February 27th, 2019. We requested that his body not be cremated, so an official investigation can take a place on foul play. They cremated his body on my 19th birthday.

Too late. Nicole, it's too late to save your brother.

Too late, baby. Too late.