Sadié Sidney

I am so excited to get the first proof of my book. Really really excited. It's going to be something I cherish for the rest of my life. I made a goal of writing 200 pages, but when I translated my words into book form, it's actually 320+ pages. So, I actually wrote 320+ pages in 7 weeks with editing included. When I get the proof of my book, I'm going to read it through for the sake of conciseness, but it's completed. I really pray that I write more books. More life. More writing. More love.

What an amazing feat to be a playwright. I admire J. E. Franklin with a passion of grace and honor.

I am so thankful to everyone who reads my blog. It means so much to me, in a time where I have always felt unheard, unseen, and unloved. We are now close to 1,000 reads a month, which is a big feat for this blog. There are now more than 20 countries reading my blog every month, which means everything to me. It makes me feel so good. I hope to continue writing. I would love to write atleast 10 books in this lifetime, if I can. It takes so much out of you to write a book, it is a major feat. So, I pray I continue to write more, work more, and live for Sidney.

The memoir is finished and I'm excited. It's 200 pages and I'm just adding some finishing touches before I publish it. I plan to have a rollout accompanying it, so I'm happy about that. It took me 7 weeks to write my book. It has been so emotional for me. I've felt so many things as I wrote, but I told myself I would finish it and I did. Thank God. Today, I am drinking lemon tea while burning incense. I have a big doula job that I start tomorrow, so I'm just trying to relax. School starts in a month too, so I have to get ready for that.

While writing this memoir, there were so many emotions present. I was especially emotional at the beginning because there were things that I wrote that I never told anyone. I always have kept alot of things to myself with ongoing thoughts that nobody would understand. And the truth is, they don't understand. They judge. They laugh. They mock. But I have always knew that one day I would share my story and I would be overly grateful if just one person finishes my book. That would mean the world to me. Growing up, nobody cared about my story or about what Sidney and I went through at home. I was called a liar, spoiled brat, and many other things. I learned to shut my mouth and take things that a child should never have to take. There were some parts in the book that made me cry. I felt like that little girl again getting hit by her parents and molested by a father who could care less about her. Those moments were some of the darkest moments in my life. In this life, I have truly tried...

So I've written 150 pages so far!!! My goal is 200 pages so I'm ecstatic that I'm 50 pages away from my ending point. My least favorite part is editing. I do not like editing AT ALL. Everyday is a challenge when I'm writing. Some days I feel depressed from the things I've been through. The first half of the book was the hardest part. There are things that have happened to me that makes me so sad and feel so helpless at times. I feel for that young girl. All I do is pray that at least one person reads my book. That would mean the world to me. Today I had enough energy to cook, do laundry, and clean which is always good. Some days I don't have energy to do anything. There;s some days that I even struggle to pray. Those days are the hardest. Once I finish this book, a weight will be off my shoulders. I thank God for life. I thank God for another chance.