Sadié Sidney

There's a garden looking for volunteers and I'm thinking about volunteering there. Growing up, my mom was a master gardener and I thought that was so cool of her. As of now, I love nature so very much. It would be a nice opportunity!

I got this book at my local public library and I'm falling in love! I didn't know if I'd like it to be honest. It's about 500 pages but it's a great, great read. I'm at the part where JFK is assasinated :( That part makes me sad. Also, the part where she loses her child Patrick is so heartbreaking. Jackie Kennedy is so strong and I really love this book for me. It has also opened up about their marriage in ways that is enlightening for me as a wife. No marriage is perfect, no. It really does require so much hard work. I am very fond and proud of Jackie Kennedy! This book is a life-saver. I'm trying to think of which book I'm going to read next? I have so, so many. I also wanted to start reading Amy Tan's books. I keep seeing her everywhere and I have two of her books that I haven't even touched. Maybe I'll start reading Paris Hilton's book. I'm sure that'll be a great read.

I'm learning more and more about giving without expecting something in return. It is more satisying to give without receiving something back. I'm learning that in friendships, relationships, family... I'm learning. I'm starting to fall in love with doing my hair too! Something I never thought would happen. It's a miracle that I'm learning to do that. The hardest part about my hair is the parting. It takes me hours to part my hair! The chebe powder makes my hair more manageable though. I also added palm oil to my hair cream to strengthen my hair. So, in total, there's coconut oil, baobao oil, chebe powder, and palm oil in my hair paste. I put alot of it in my hair to seal it. I'm not keen to washing my hair all the time, because for me, washing my hair too much has always caused breakage. What I plan to do is co-wash my hair from now on. Maybe shampooing my hair twice a year or even less. The shampoo I use is Dr.Bronner's soap (the mint flavored one).

I remember me and my best friend Amaya used to read that book and talk about it. We also watched the movie. It was so nice going to her house and watching movies.

My hair has grown so much!

I was looking online at some farms and I really want one! I loved working with horses and cows, I think they're so sweet. I know it's not easy work, but I would love to buy some land and have a farm with my own animals. I could be a doula then too. I'd have my doula business and my farming business. That would be so much fun to me.

xtra blessed ❤

I took this on my walk

I can't wait to get into placenta encapsulation!!!!!! I also want to get into placenta jewelry and art. I'm so excited, but I'm also taking things slow. I don't want to get burnt out. I was thinking one client per month and never doing more than one placenta at a time (to avoid cross contamination). I'm also trying to find a sterile place I could perform this activity. So much to think about and consider, but either way I'm taking the class.

I want to get into placenta encapsulation. I found a class that charges $600 to a get a Bachelors of Arts in Placenta keeping. I'm excited about my journey in doulaship.

I keep finding beautiful things for my beutiful clients.

I have to find some lashes that fit my eyes better!! I usually use wispies but I can't find any here in NJ. I'm going to look at the beauty supply today. Oh, I combed my hair out this morning using moisturizer. I'm eventually going to add chebe powder to my moisturizer soon to thicken it and make it a paste.

Well... School, school, school. I just sent off my essay to the school of General Studies. I'm honestly a little apprehensive about Columbia's College of General Studies because they don't have alot of financial aid. Some students were even homeless? So, that makes me very apprehensive about going. I don't even think I'm eligible for Barnard college because I'm considered a nontraditional student.I had no idea I was a nontraditional student. I knew I was a transfer student, but I didn't know me taking a break from school affects my application. Next month I start at Columbia University... I am so nervous. I am tired already. I am going to be going to the gym at the same time too, just to tone up. I want to start going to the gym everyday honestly. It's getting a little harder for me to do certain things due to my weight. I also have a few birth clients that I've been interviewing. I'm getting better and better at interviews honestly! I've l

I really want to grow my blog more. I'm going to be doing my hair more, my makeup more, and posting about it. I actually finished the 1,500 word essay early, early in the morning. Like 4 in the morning. I am so proud of myself.

I love putting conditioner and combing my hair. I used to hate combing my hair. I would literally go like 6+ months without combing my hair. Now, I comb my hair and I love it. I can wear my hair out and not feel bad about myself. Anytime I used to wear my hair out, I would be so embarassed. I didn't like the texture, I didn't like my curl pattern, and it was hard for me to wear it out. As of today, I am finding products to fall in love with and manage my hair. One product that I like to use is the chebe powder and rice water. I have a spray bottle with rosemary and rice water that I use for my hair. I just use it to wet my hair, but I like how powerful both of them are. I also found a natural shampoo to use that I can make at home. The ingredients include: -Arappu powder -Organic fenugreek powder -Shikakai Powder

I'm now a community-based doula woring in the TRIE area of New York City. I'm really excited about that :) With my Columbia fellowship in the Summer, I will have to space out my first client with CDI until the end of August, which I'm sad about. I want to get started immediately, but I also don't want to burn myself out. Being a doula is not easy work. Although, I am excited about this new journey. It will mature me. It will ground me. It will make me into a better person overall. I do want to start getting into learning more languages, so I can be well-rounded. I'm so happy to see where this journey will take me.

For Columbia University, I have to write a 1,500-2,000 word essay. I have NO idea what I'm going to say or how I'm going to say it. I'm going to take a look at a few autobiographical essays to get some inspiration and then go ahead and start writing. I think today I will write 500 words (or more). For Intro to Film, we had to write 1,000 word essays. I truly don't know what I'm going to say, but I'm going to write everything that makes my heart sing. Everything that resonates with my life. I'm nervous, but I'm doing the best that I can.

Wow... I've grown so much without my brother. I never thought it would be possible to ever be without my brother. My brother was my everything. When I got the news that he died, I tried to run in traffic and kill myself because I felt like I couldn't live without him. I couldn't eat without him. I couldn't sleep without him. I couldn't be Nicole without Sidney. As of today, I am much much better. I never thought my brother would die. He was so strong to me, he was immortal in my mind. I miss him daily and I used to be tortured by the fact that he isn't here anymore. I no longer torture myself, but I am grateful that I met him. I am grateful that he existed and was my bestfriend for the beginning of my life. I will never take that for granted.

It has worked for me on numerous occasions!! It is life changing. I started doing my own hair, nails, and waxes, which I NEVER do. Taking care of myself has always been a challenge for me. It's always been a struggle. Loving myself has always been a struggle. As of today, I feel so much better. I feel so much lighter. I'm actually obsessed with 'nam myoho renge kyo'. Every problem that I have becomes resolved. Everything that I pray for comes to be true. My hair is growing stronger, longer, and healthier due to chebe (which I'm so excited about). My next hair style is going to incorporate alot of chebe powder so that it can keep growing. I don't know how long I'll keep that style in. My last style I kept in for 5-6 months using the chebe powder religiously. I honestly just mix the chebe powder with a leave-in and keep it moving. My hair has grown so so much!! Like I've discussed before, I really want to post about my schizophrenia on my instagram, but I&

Sometimes I want to post what's going on in my life on Instagram, but it's so hard. I wonder if anyone will care and what do I keep private? What do I share with the world? As I'm getting older, I'm enjoying my privacy. I love this blog, because it allows me to keep record of so many things. But I like that I'm allowed to share what I please. Although, I still struggle with privacy, I try my best. I always try to stay to myself and keep focus on me.

I want to try this style