Sadié Sidney

The vegan pepperoni pizza that I ordered is so good. I can't eat pepperoni because I said my Shahada, but they have alternatives, which is so great.

I was at Five Below today and saw these which I think are cool. I could never get enough of books and I'm glad that so many books are out in the world. It's a beautiful thing..

I attended my first schizophrenic support group today. It was so helpful to hear other people's stories and get some insight on the voices that I hear/heard. It's so nice to be around other people that have schizophrenia honestly. I know one way that I combat schizophrenia is going to school. School definitely takes my mind off of things and keeps me focused on the positive. I miss school so much, but it starts back next week which is good. I also joined a trading group. With trading, I'm pretty ok. The most I made was $800 in a day. But I still need work on it, of course. And honestly, some weeks are just not good weeks to trade which I am learning. It's better to save your money. And of course, I'm reading more books. There's so many books that I'm looking forward to in 2024. Fela's book and Monica Lewinsky's book. I'm probably going to buy those because I want to keep them forever.

I miss Tina so much... She's my first post on my blog and my introduction to chanting 'nam myoho renge kyo'

I participated in the passport program at school. It was about diversity and inclusivity and I quite enjoyed it actually.

So, I'm definitely applying for NYU and maybe I'll see what can be done about attending NYU Accra to better immerse myself into Africana studies. I'm excited, but yet anxious about everything honestly. I can't wait until school starts back up so I can get a move on things. At NYU, they have a Yoruba course. It's only an Elementary course, but I'm excited about attending it. My ex husband is Yoruba and he taught me so much about his culture and I appreciate that alot actually. I am in love with their culture and I cannot wait to learn more. I wish I was fluent in Yoruba. I really wish I spoke multiple languages, and that's what I'll be working on.

I'm getting so much better at frying chicken. That makes me happy because I love fried chicken. I really love all foods.

The Detrimental Effects of Child Poverty on the World Nicole Spearman Lifespan Development Kirsten Byrnes December 11th, 2023 Growing up in poverty is quite detrimental to physical health, mental health, and psychological well-being. There have been many studies that show the detriment of growing up poor from third world countries to America. Poverty: “Poverty is hunger. Poverty is lack of shelter. Poverty is being sick and not being able to see a doctor. Poverty is not having access to school and not knowing how to read. Poverty is not having a job, is fear for the future, living one day at a time. Poverty has many faces, changing from place to place and across time, and has been described in many ways. Most often, poverty is a situation people want to escape. So poverty is a call to action -- for the poor and the wealthy alike -- a call to change the world so that many more may have enough to eat, ad

I think I want to major in Africana studies and social research and public policy. That will help my nonprofit on an international level and I'll learn so much. I'm very excited about school. I also think my decision to major in Africana studies is influenced by my previous huband. He is a nigerian from Ikeja and I learned so much about cooking, life in Nigeria, and more from him and his family.

So, I looked up some study abroad programs at NYU and they have so so many options. I'm so happy. Now about getting in... I do have a 4.0 but we'll have to see. I feel closer to what I want to do every single day. I think I'll major in Social Research and public policy.

I woke up today and I feel alive. After losing my brother, I was so numb to life. I didn't want to live, I didn't want to breathe. I wanted to end it all. Today that's not true. I want to be here. I want to travel. I want to study. I want to see the world. I am free, I am happy, I am calm, I am silence. In so many ways, school saved my life. It brought me so many cool opportunities. As of now, I'm thinking of transferring to a school in New York. Maybe for the fall, I don't know? I'm thinking about it. By taking a look at this blog, my family, and my life... I think I'm really into international affairs and African-American studies. I can read and study African-American studies all day. I loved Madam CJ walkers book. There's so many things that I love and nothing that I hate.

What an amazing person... People from Newark are so gifted and special.

As I read Kem's book and he talks about the 12-step program, I go to my local free library and they have a 12-step program book... I can no longer smoke weed due to my schizophrenia because it causes delusions and makes me hear voices. Giving up weed had to be the hardest thing I ever had to do but it was necessary. When I smoked, it made me lazy and hungry and I was hearing and seeing things that weren't there. But still, it made me ultimately feel good. It helped me escape from the world. As of today, I don't want to escape. I've been sober for awhile and my life is looking up from here :) I've been through alot but I'm still going. I don't want to escape anymore, I want to be here. I want to feel alive.

Reading Kem's book came as a surprise... I saw it at the library and thought to get it. I had no idea he was sexually abused. :( . That makes my heart break so much. Every autobiography I read is so powerful and has so much meaning to me...

I always say I won't get anymore books from the library until I finish my personal library. Four books later...

I wanted to watch it on the projector but I didnt feel like setting it up.

I feel so much better today, like I can face anything that comes my way. That's so unusual because for a while I felt like I couldn't face anything and I wanted to hide from the world. As of now, I'm looking at studying abroad. I'm hoping I can study next year, but if it comes out to 2025, I wouldn't mind. I'm also going to my school to apply for scholarships.

I am so grateful that I have all a's in all my classes.. This semester consisted of alot of research, time, and management. I am truly happy about my grades. Getting closer to my IBCLC and my PMH-C certification.

The more books I read, the more I find... Just like the more you know, the more you don't know. It's so clever, the world. The one book I'm anticipating is 'Sensitive is the New Strong'. I always felt that way. I have always had a profound love for sensitive people, they just 'get' it. They cry, they have feelings, they have empathy, they have heart.. Something that alot of people lack nowadays. People laugh, mock, make fun, and are so mean to each other. It makes my stomach turn and always has. It's so weird how people treat others. I have always had this profound love for sensitive people. The words faggot, sissy, punk, cry baby were words that always moved me to love the person that was called those things. Nobody is a faggot. Nobody is a sissy. Nobody is a punk. Nobody is a cry baby. Everyone is entitled to behave the way that best suits them and makes them comfortable in this cruel world. How can you judge or try to take that away from someone? The

I am so happy I received this book as a gift. I believe I got this book in either 2021-2022. It talks about so many great revelations. My healing journey after losing Grandma Sadie and my brother Sidney have definitely had its downs. But this year, especially more recently, I have been feeling so much better. I do want to live. I do want to keep trying which is a big accomplishment for me. I haven't attempted or cut myself since April and I'm so proud of myself. My life isn't perfect, no. But it's worth living <3

I finished The Secret book. It's the same text as the movie and I used to watch the movie everyday when I moved to New York. I do feel different honestly. I feel happier. I do believe that my chanting has healed my depression. I no longer want to hurt myself anymore, I want to live. I want to wake up in the morning, which is a miracle for me. Being in and out the psych ward/hospital was not fun at all... I haven't been to the hospital since I got out in April and I'm doing so well. I feel so much better. I do want to maybe start watching The Secret again everyday, at least for three months. I'm going to keep that book forever, it is so powerful. My dreams at night have so much meaning. There's alot of symbolism in my dreams and I'm always on the lookout for what they mean.

This picture came up in my memories. It's so sweet.

This is my first time watching the movie. My favorite boxing movie is Cinderella Man.

So, I'm reading The Secret and I'm praying for a transformation by my 24th birthday. I've been focusing on school, but I'd like to travel more, explore more, and see more of the world. It's honestly quite scary for me to think about. The world is so small, but yet it's so big. The world has so many opportunities within it, and it's such a friendly place. I mean that sincerely. I have met so many friendly souls on my journey in this world and have had so many opportunities presented to me. Some that I even had to pass down because I'm so busy with my own things. After The Secret, I'm going to read John Lewis's book which I'm excited about. Saying I love him is an understatement. I admire his tenacity, his honor, and his faith.. He was an amazing friend and I was so lucky to be in his presence on many occasions.

I am missing my friend today (Rest in Power) from when I used to work at Mary Mac's Tea Room. One day I walked up to him and asked him if he'd be my friend and he said yes. Since then, we always gave each other hugs and it meant so much to me. I really miss him dearly and I've been a bad friend by not finishing his book. I am so inspired by him and I now want to join non-violence movements and the NAACP. I love him so so so much.... from the bottom of my heart.

The next book I'm reading is The Secret. I'm really enjoying my solitude. I never thought I would... I remember posting how difficult it was to focus on myself. Now, it's effortless and I prefer it over anything. I like being left alone. I like not hearing my phone ring. I like doing my own thing. I've watched The Secret many, many times and I had a diary that was based on The Secret from my dad. He bought me that diary when I was really young and I'm still grateful for it. I have to go grocery shopping again, this time I don't know what I'm going to buy. I really really loved the smothered smoked turkey necks, they were so good! I never thought my local grocery store would ever have scotch bonnet peppers. I love scotch bonnet peppers so much and they make every dish taste so good. I have alot on my mind today. It's like when I heal, my memory becomes crystal clear... I can definitely say that I'm healed now <3 I've done what needed to be done

I came across a saying that said "Shallow brooks murmur most" and it really touched me. I'm learning to be more silent, more still. It really is a skill to master. Letting people think and say what they want because you know you can't control them.

This quote is so beautiful and it means alot to me. I found it in the book that I'm reading.. The book I'm reading has so many good reviews, I am very happy. What really makes the quote stand out to me is its meaning. What exactly does it mean? I'm such a researcher and I love finding the meaning of things so of course I look it up. I couldn't really find anything on it that was moving to me. How I took it... I took it by looking at my own life. I remember when I was 17 years old and I started chanting. I was able to amass so many things in the year 2017 but I would've never thought that I'd move up north on my own and even attend Princeton. I never thought I'd become a doula. Publish a book. Be the face of Vogue's website three times. I had it all. Just not all at once. That's how I take it. Hopefully I'm taking it well. I've been reading for about two hours straight. I want to finish this book today honestly and get on to a new book.

A quote that I found moved me... Don't compare your life to others. There's no comparison between the sun and the moon, they shine when it's their time.

I've realized that the more I post, the more my blog grows. Which I think is so cool. I'm glad I have this space for me to share what I'm up to, what books I'm reading, and how school is going. I finished my anatomy class fully in school, so I'm happy. I just have life span next. My projector in my living room is growing dust by how much I don't use it lol. It's just that I can't find anything to watch at the moment. I was watching alot of South African movies that I enjoyed. South Africa is taking over <3. When I was younger, my dad made me watch this movie named Tsotsi. It's still one of my favorite movies to this day and I never forgot about it. I've been drinking so much water lately, it's crazy. I've been listening to an audio by Louise Hay how water is good for cleansing the body and remaining healthy so all is well.

I'm so excited about all the books I've read this year and the books I'll read in the year coming. I still remember when I went to the library and picked up a book by Sinead O' Connor (never heard who she was), read it, and in the middle of reading it she passed away. I still have the book and will probably never get rid of it. I miss her so much.. She was amazing and so truthful. I'm not sure what that means by me randomly picking up her book and then she passes on but I can't get it out of my head. One day, I'll ask someone what it means. Until then, I take it as a divine power bringing us together. When she passed, I felt it so hugely and I felt like nobody understood my pain. I grew so connected to her when I read her book. I'm really excited to read Pamela Anderson's book! She's so graceful and polite. I really like her.

My plant is growing so much. Her name is Mother Teresa. She is so graceful and beautiful. I've been reading so much and watching so many things on healing... I am healed. I am at peace in so many ways.

As I reflect on my life, I think the person that angered me the most was my father. How could he do the things that he's done to my family? How could he tell me to kill myself? I was so hurt. As I'm growing in this journey, I realize that anger is not a good look for me. It is very low vibrational for me. For some people, anger is what drives change. Anger is sexy, it's motivating, fierce, and fuels hard work. For me, it makes me sulk, cry, throw fits, and brings me down. It is one of my weakest emotions and has brought me down on so many occasions. In some ways and instances, it has ruined my life. As I'm growing into a new person, I realize that I cannot take anger with me on this journey to healing. I have to let it go... One revelation that I came upon was how can I be mad at my greatest teacher? My father, hands down, was the greatest teacher that life could've brought me. I learned so much from him. I learned how to be strong when faced with adversity. I learn

As I grow in this healing journey, I find myself becoming less and less angry. I find myself having more understanding of things and how they come about. With this, I have peace. What I'm working on now is living in the present moment. It's something that's always been hard for me as the past haunts me and the future intimidates me. It's like I'm always living life in survival mode. I'm always worrying. As of today, there's a lot less worry and more understanding. More maturity. I no longer hold on to people and things that don't serve me, there's no need to. I believe that I held on to people so close to me because feelings of desperation, anxiety, and lack thereof. There is no lack in this world, only abundance. Living in a spirit of lack leads to dissatisfaction always. Having a spirit of expectation, leads to disappointment always. I no longer find myself reaching out to others. I don't need to, I have myself to hold on to. I have life. I rea

I am so excited to read this book! There's so many books that I want to read and this has to be #1 on my list. I'm going to probably order it from my library. I've already got so many books that I want to order.

I read her whole blog from 2009 and I'm in awe. I'm so proud of her and everything she's accomplished.

What doesn't kill you makes you so much stronger... It builds a soldier.....

First I braised them (first picture) and then I boiled them in broth which I thickened with flour and corn starch. I love scotch bonnet peppers because they give dishes a unique, spicy flavor sO I used two of them. I tried to eat the whole plate but I got full, so I only ate three pieces. I took a piece of my cake and ate it and now I'm about to take a nap. I had a really good day. I have to find some tea near me that I like. I love tea so much. I was thinking a blueberry flavor. I'm almost done with Anne Heche's book. She is an amazing writer... I think I have 20 pages left. I loved it so much that I finished it in two days which I almost never do. The next book I'm going to read is maybe "The Secret" and 'Bling' by Erica Kennedy. I have "The Secret" in my library already, and my local library ordered 'Bling' for me. I am so excited to read, I feel like a kid again. I can escape into another world. When I read autobiographies, I get

My blog is small but I am so proud of it

Grocery shopping is my favorite thing to do. I'm making smothered smoked turkey necks over rice right now.

As I read this book, it pains me what Anne Heche went through. Her story... Nothing short of miraculous. I wish I could keep this book forever. I think it's so cool that my library had this book for me to check out as I couldn't find it anywhere online. I just got the book today and I'm already half way done with it. I have school work to do today, but I'm going to save it for after I take a nap. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to be cooking for the rest of this week. I was thinking maybe fish tacos? Buffalo chicken wraps? I've really been craving salads. For me, it's something about a good book, salad, and my favorite tea that makes me feel so happy.

I love school so much, but I'm tired of it. All the papers etc have been getting on my nerves. This semester wasn't as hard as my other semesters honestly and I learned so much in relation to my IBCLC.